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Future Suture.. Had Me In Stitches
Why would I want to watch a futuristic, sci-fi movie that had been, all along, hyped as a visual extravaganza, but was sure to end up as a launch vehicle for 'Sideparting Hrithik'? Hmmm.. Because I had some spare time and I had promised myself that I shall devote some time of each day to nothingness. But alas.. my evening had nothing to do with nothingness.. I ended up stressing myself in the cinema hall.. A little over three hours of sheer torture is what the movie was.
Ok, so some will applaud 'Sideparting Hrithik's acting skills (debut film te kya kya), some will sing hossanas of the visual effects, flying car, time machines, et al, and some would thank the movie hall for having such brilliant ergonomic seats and good air-conditioning that allowed them a nice, li'l power nap..
But I wonder.. really.. was there any purpose to making this movie? If I want to check out the standards of SFX and graphics on the Indian horizon, I'd rather spend time at an academy that trains people in graphics. If I want to experience such a storyline, I will check out any 'punhar janam' movie that Bollywood has dished out earlier in time, no pun intended. Why would I risk my sanity by subjecting myself to such an obnoxious waste of time? Yes, surely the filmmaker could let us know if he is confident that everything in the movie has fallen into place and it is the perfect package in the sci-fi genre. Else, I'd rather find deliverance elsewhere (read Hollywood). He may as well appease the masses with this 'eye-popping' variety of visual effects..
A ragged storyline that has been done to death in this very country and this very industry, a 'wannabe-someone-else' actor, an 'i-want-my-boyfriend-to-succeed' actress, Boman Irani in a role he may be regretting in hindsight and some really insipid graphics.. Throw in some hyperintelligent robots, talking soft toys, flying cars ( and you have the perfect antidote for insomnia. Only the popcorn kept me awake. And it is too long a movie, for such a boring, predictable plot.
The first half is in the present - shot in picturesque Australia. This must be because the protagonists needed all the trees to dance around and the lawns to prance on, since when they have depicted 2050, I did not see even a single tree. 2050 happens only in the second half, as the hero and the mad scientist, along with two kids (child labor rule alert - for how dry their roles were) get into a globular time machine (three keyboards, one processor, some gizmos thrown in) and get their a$$e$ into the future.. Oh, and yes.. how can I forget the villain? Bald head, flakes (ok.. chips!) of silicon adorning his scalp, each finger with a ring that 'reacts' with those chips when he runs his hand in his scalp a la Rajnikanth in Sivaji - The Boss, a mask so that they don't have to spend thousands on making his face look scary, a long coat with 'Dracula'-style collars and really, you have a man who is trying too hard to look 'deadly'..
Besides the fact that there were cars flying around, which means no more pothole issues in the Mumbai of the future, the only saving grace is Archana Puran Singh in a 'Punjaban' role. Nicely done and managed to evoke laughs.
Everything else made me laugh...
Do the math!
PS: I wish to make a movie - Love Story Somewhere In The 40's - in which I play the antagonist and my only objective in life is to prevent the parents of the director, producer and screenplay writer of this movie from fornicating..
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